© 2012 jen

Truthy Tuesday: Gratitude For My (Big, Sick & Now Much Healthier) Great Body

 There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. — Albert Einstein

I’m 7 weeks into healing from Celiac Disease now and I have been thinking about my body- old and new and how great it is. I don’t mean great as in hard-body or sexiness or anything like this. I mean it’s great that I’ve been able to do so much with my body in my life, even when I was sick and now that I’m recovering I’m able to do even more.

I’ve been coming to revelation that I have been fat, sick and malnourished for most of my life and yet, I’ve always been a strong- in both body and mind- person and able to do whatever was necessary. My hands have always been nimble, my legs were always strong, my arms could haul anything I needed lifting and knowing me, I was probably carrying other smaller people’s things too and even though my mind has been cloudy with sickness I’ve been somewhat sharp, especially for a sick person. This sickness hasn’t affected my creativity, my mind or my strength all that much all things considered.

But now that I’m feeling better I’m considering all of the other things . . . and I feel grateful everyday.

I started high doses of vitamin D, which seems to be pushing things into a new place of health.

At this moment, when I scan my body for pain or weakness I feel none. There is utter calm and peace in my body- like I never knew was possible.

Here’s my top ten of things to be grateful for with my new found health and body:

10. Grace– As a young kid I was very coordinated. I don’t admit this very much, but I won awards in gym all the time as a kid, but as I grew older I got clumsier, awkward and so much more tired. Now I feel a gracefulness within myself. It’s my natural coordination coming back, emerging from sickness and I’m so grateful to feel so coordinated.

9. Dancing– As a young person dancing and rollerskating were my passions. Oh, hula hooping too and this was another thing I lost as I aged. I would still dance from time to time, but I’d get so tired and I was sort of clumsy so I couldn’t dance like I imagined in my mind. Now my hips are loose in a whole new way. My feet find the beat of the song so much more quickly and my whole body jumps at music in a whole new way. I dance everyday and everyday I think how much I LOVE to dance.

8. Thinking clearly and calmly– I’ve never had such clarity before. I’ve always struggled with losing my train of thought, especially when writing, but now I don’t seem to have this issue.

I used to be the kind of person who would think something and then that’s what I thought about and I might need to act or react to that thought. I don’t feel this way anymore. I feel like I can pretty much out think anything that comes my way. I feel much less like reacting to anything. I used to feel like I was exclusively a doer at times. Now my thinking brain is way stronger than my doer self is.

7. Peacefulness– I feel a peacefulness in my body, like I’ve never felt before. It makes me feel gentler to myself and others. I used to feels somewhat numb and uncomfortable most of the time and I think I carried that with me into everything I did, at least a little and I just don’t feel that way anymore. If anything it’s as if my emotions are on hyper sensitive. I notice everything. I’m hyper sensitive to other people’s discomfort or comfort. I can feel their peace or lack of it energetically now.

6. Feeling healthy– I love feeling so healthy. Pretty much all of my former health issues have gone away since I’ve removed gluten: asthma gone, aches and pains gone, skin that is a clear and clean as I can remember it ever being, natural color to my cheeks and an entire new tone to my skin which screams, health, and weight issues going away.

I’ve always had aches and pains, since I was a kid. I think I’ve become so conditioned to pain that I don’t even register it without  consciously looking for it. This is one of the adaptations that I developed over the years- a ridiculously high tolerance to pain-  a skill I don’t need anymore. This is a skill I’m happy to say goodbye to.

I feel a happiness and a smooth-fuel burning flow to my whole body. I digest food quickly and normally now. I’m regularly grateful for the feeling of digestion- it feels so good. Life is so much easier when you digest your food and when you can feel health emanating from the center of your body.

5. Movement and energy– It is so much easier to move around when you don’t have so much extra weight in the center of your body. I find that I have so much more energy and that everything I do feels so much more effortless than it ever has before. Most things feel easy and like I’m some giantess who can tap something with my finger to make the world turn on it’s axis. Life was never this easy before and I’m grateful for the ease.

4. Self-image– Other people are focused on my weight. I am happy to be losing some weight, but that’s not what I’m all that focused on.  It’s not my smaller waistline, or emerging hips that I struck by, it’s that I’m still startled when I look in the mirror, because I see the me I used to be. The me I was before I had a kid, a craft business, and all of the struggles and hardships that life has dealt me. I’m not even saying I look like a 20 year old, because I don’t think that’s quite it, but I look more like the 20 year old me than the 30 or 40 year old me because of my new found health. As a younger person I can see now that I’d go through periods where I had no symptoms of the Celiac Disease, and I think this what I’m seeing now. The healthy me. I just love seeing the me that is so healthy.

3. Lightness and freedom– I feel an almost constant feeling of lightness and freedom since I’ve stopped eating gluten. My son is also a Celiac and when I asked him after 3 days of not eating gluten how he felt he said, “I can’t believe how light I feel.” I literally feel like there is a string holding my head and body up everywhere I go (which I think is also helping with my coordination). This feeling is so strong that I have the sense that I could levitate if I wanted to, not that I really can, but that’s how strong this feeling is.

2. Emotional strength– It’s funny, I’ve never been more likely to cry if you look at me sideways, but I’ve also never felt so steady and even. It would take some effort for me to get mad at this point and frankly, very few things are worth it. I didn’t used to feel this way. I used feel frustrated all the time. I used to really try to manage my thoughts and behavior, now it feels more it’s moved to some auto-managing system. The same is true of depression. I could be depressed, but it would take way more these days to get me into a funk, because I’m not hanging of the edge of a cliff -emotionally-  in the first place- like I used to be. I think the quick tears that I’m experiencing are a release of everything that’s been hard for so long.

1. My voice– This might sound weird to most people who know me, because I’ve always been a talker and somewhat loud, but I feel like I’m rediscovering my voice. As I get healthier and the layers of inflammation and weight melt off my body I’m hearing something new. It’s my voice and it wants out. I feel a need to sing like I remember feeling as a kid, but this feeling has been numb for so long that I forgot I felt this way. When I sing I feel a resonance in my throat and nasal cavity and it feels like heaven. I can sustain notes and hit notes I couldn’t before. My asthma is gone so I can really belt things out on a different level. I can feel the music inside of me in a way that makes me want to dance, smile and sing.

I also feel the need to tell stories- to share with others. I feel the need to make my voice heard in a whole new way that’s stronger than anything I’ve ever known before, even stronger than my desire was once upon a time, to have a craft business. I would say this is on par with my need to have a baby, which I felt before I had my son- it’s a yearning, a need, a potential pain if it’s not fulfilled.

I feel grateful to know and hear what I want in a whole new way! Who knew food could help you hear?

I feel so grateful for this body that I have, the one that’s kept me strong even when I wasn’t. The one that’s performed like a champ through sickness and now as I get to find true health I’m so abundantly grateful. I’m grateful to know what sick feels like so that I can appreciate true health. I’m grateful to know what clumsiness feels like so I can feel my grace and truly revel in it and I’m grateful for knowing how hard feels so I can fully enjoy ease.

I’m looking forward to see what this healthy body is capable of, because the sick one could do amazing things. Wonder what the healthy one can do? I can’t wait to learn more about me and this great body of mine. I can’t wait to see what the right food and exercise can do for this body and I’m so grateful for this experience and knowledge.

Whatever we think about and thank about we bring about -Dr John F Demartini

What are you grateful for? Do you have a top ten list? Consider making your own. It feels great to know what your grateful for.

We do a weekly feature over on The Maven Circle called Truthy Tuesday with different topics each week. We’d love to have people post their experiences around those topics on their own blogs too, to encourage more truthiness around blogland and openly talk about some of these things!

Psst- Jena and I are switching back and forth, week-to-week posting Truthy Tuesdays on the Maven Circle blog and on our personal blogs. Here’s where you can find Jena’s post about gratitude.



One Comment

  1. Posted November 19, 2012 at 11:33 pm | #

    I’ve read of people’s voices change as they heal, even from osteopathic treatments and better posture. It all goes together. Being aware makes it that much more enlightening. You go girl!