So what is Mixer Match? It’s a speed networking event that happens twice a year, once for artists and galleries, and once for crafters and boutiques.  The idea is to have artists pitch a small sampling of work to business owners or galleries who might want to exhibit or sell their work, can give feedback about the pitch, or have suggestions for other places to sell artists’ work and so forth. In many ways you can think of Mixer Match as an educational trade show that doesn’t require huge fees for admission and that you don’t have to create tons of work in advance to participate.

The last Mixer Match happened on April 26 at Design Within Reach. I was pretty happy with the turnout and the overall flow of the event and really, I have a couple of people to thank for helping make this possible. You see, I’m the event coordinator with I Heart Art so it was my job to act as the lead organizer for the last Mixer Match, but in truth I didn’t have to do all that much because I had a REALLY strong team.

I was really fortunate to have both Deenie Wallace and Jolie Griffin as my core team for the event. This was the second annual visual artist Mixer Match and with Jolie was our artist contact, she really improved the communication and preparation of artists this time around. She made the whole artist piece flow smoothly. Jolie’s the kind of person who most of the time has taken care of things before you’ve even thought of it.

Jolie is the smiley one in the middle.  

Deenie was the the third main organizer of the event. She is also a dream to work with – very hard working and willing to learn and try new things. She managed the galleries, since she is an artist and had many contacts with several local galleries. She was also the volunteer coordinator, and as if that weren’t enough, she also participated in the Mixer Match as an artist. She’s pretty much a super woman type of woman.

Here’s Deenie with her art ready to pitch at Mixer Match.

In addition to the main organizers we had a handful of other I Heart Art Leadership Council Members that also helped out. There was our ringleader and bullhorn guy, Isaac B. Watson. He managed the countdown of each transition with the help of Rebecca Kerr. The two have been co-chairs for I Heart Art for some time now and are great leaders.

Here’s Isaac in the center doing his thing on the bullhorn and Rebecca is standing to his right, cheering him and the crowd on.  To the left is a volunteer who helped us procure beer from the Descuttes Brewing Company.

We also had help from Cheryl Larson. She lent us her editing skills on most of the copy that went out about the event. Her mad baking skills were the icing on the, cupcakes (OK, bad pun, I know). She’s another council member, who made the whole thing flow. We are so fortunate to have such a cooperative team who’s skill complement each other so well.

Cheryl and her awesome cupcakes!

We had a lot of help from the fabulous Cathy Pitters.  She loves to throw parties and is the food planner for I Heart Art.

Cathy preparing food for Mixer Match.

Kirsten Moore helped out with marketing the event. She’s our Twitter expert, and she helped us line up a few of the galleries for the event. She also knitted her dress – isn’t it awesome?

Kirsten chatting with one of our Super Stars, Jill Bliss.

We ask a handful of people who are experts in art or business to be Super Stars at each Mixer Match. The role of a Super Star is to mingle, give advice and to add an extra fabulous layer to the event. In addition to having Jill Bliss along with a number of other Super Stars that night, we were fortunate to have Jena Coray of Miss Modish. Jena advises creative business people on how to effectively market and pitch their business.

That night, in a strange turn of events, one of the galleries didn’t show up so Jena agreed to fill in as someone who the artists could practice their pitch with. Many of them gave her their business card and she followed up with many of them to offer advice and help, because she’s awesome like that.

Jena listening to Deenie’s pitch during Mixer Match.

As I mentioned earlier, it really requires team work to put on an event like this. Here’s a photo of most of our team.

From left to right, nearest to farthest: Kirsten Moore, Deenie Wallace, Cheryl Larson,
Jen Neitzel(with my goofy mouth open), Cathy Pitters, Isaac B. Watson, Rebecca Kerr and
Jolie Griffin. Christine Claringbold and Shannon Conrad couldn’t make it that night.

It’s pretty awesome to have a group such as I Heart Art – that is contributing to the community by educating creatives in the ways of business.  I for one, am really glad to be a part of this group.

Artists waiting for Mixer Match to start.

Pat from Land

Catherine from Bush Barn Gallery in Salem

Betsy and Will from Betsy & Iya

Isaac strutting his stuff.

Artists enjoying the spread.

If you’d like to learn how you can get involved with I Heart Art
check out our workshops or become a volunteer.

While you’re at the Bizarre, if possible, try to catch the parade
- my son is in the marching band!

I know, I know, this Saturday is also Crafty Wonderland.
We are so sad to miss all of our friends at Crafty.
We’d filled out the application for St. John’s before we even knew Crafty would be on the same date!

I did, however make a video for my friends Cathy Pitters and Torie Nguyen, who run Crafty Wonderland, because I love all the crafters and that sale so much.

Try to make both events if you can!  Hope to see you this Saturday!

Ez, started this challenge because so much of what you see from the outside on the interwebs looks so perfect.  People’s pictures are perfect, friends, family, house and everything just looks perfect, so outing yourself every now and again in the ways that you’re imperfect- also known as being a normal person- can be liberating.  It allows others to lower their own guard and be more honest about who they are as well.  So here I go . . .

1. I’m a world-class mess maker: I’ve always been a bit on the messy side.  Some of my earliest memories are of me playing in the mud, digging deep into the earth and pulling out the red mud that’s everywhere in Indiana.  We called it Indian Clay – I’d make all sorts of cups, bowls, sculptures, and more, which would break when dry because they weren’t fired.  This was always my style.  Digging in the proverbial mud making things.  More interested in the creation than the mess associated with the creation. I’m still this way. I believe that the more creative you are the more you must get at least somewhat comfortable with mess and if this is true, well then I’m pretty creative (ha!).

If you look closely around my house you’ll see everything has a little dust, dust bunnies big enough to make Martha Stewart’s head spin and probably a sink full of dirty dishes too.  This is OK with me. I used to worry about what other people thought about my somewhat messy house, but more and more recently I’ve come to accept that this is just part of me. I’m not a perfectionist and I don’t require a clean house to be happy.  Sometimes I clean it up and sometimes I let the mess lay where it is.

2. I hate small talk: I really, really hate it.  I have about a 30 second attention span for the weather, or anything that isn’t about a person and their heart or passions.  It’s one reason I keep myself busy helping the host at a party.  Sharing niceties, being polite, staying surface level?  Boring.  I’d rather be at home making something.

Or worse yet, talking about accomplishments . . . I’m not interested in impressing people and being the belle of the ball – who has the biggest success story? Gross.  I want to hear about what really matters to people or I’d rather not play.  I think you can learn so much more about what people are made of by knowing what they struggle with, what they’ve overcome and their solutions to problems than by hearing about their latest success.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for other people’s successes, but I grow tired of talking about them fairly quickly.

3. I’m in debt and have been for most of my adult life: I still have student loans that I’m paying off and I’ve been out of college for 16 years now. My car is 12 years old and it isn’t paid off.  I could go on, but you get the point.  I owe. Well, we owe, my husband and I.  It’s a goal of mine to pay off our debts in the next 2 years and I think we can do it too.  Time will tell.

4. I stick out like a sore thumb most of the time: I always have.  Sometimes I’ve been the star, sometimes the outcast, but I’m always marching to the beat of my own drummer. I pick up on things that no one else does.  I miss things that everyone else gets.  As a young person I was freakishly tall and was an early bloomer.  I was loudest and the most spaztastic always. I’m someone people notice – which can mean they love me or that they hate me, but I tend to produce strong feelings in others and I always have.  It seems to be my role for how I roll.

4. I’m insecure about my writing skills: I have a learning disability, which manifests in the way that I see – my field of vision is huge, which means my peripheral vision is exceptionally broad. As a young person, learning to read was so challenging for me. I had such a hard time focusing my eyes in the standard reading format – left to right, line by line.  As a kid I often read books upside down because for some reason my mind could focus more clearly if I flipped the whole thing on it’s head.  The other issue with my vision is to do with eye fatigue – my eyes tire from reading very, very quickly. What this also means is that I’m a terrible, terrible editor.  I have plenty to write about, but it may or may not make much sense, depending on many things. Because of this disability I’ve always felt very insecure about my writing.  It’s ironic though, because I come from a long line of story tellers – my mother was a creative writer and my Grandmother an actress and an amazing story teller.  I’m very expressive and can make you laugh and cry with a story, it’s just the words on paper sometimes fail me.

As a kid I remember reading a book about Helen Keller, where she was described as a young child – as frustrated because she could not express herself  or communicate her needs yet.  I remember as a kid, reading this book (upside down) and thinking, “This is me.” I have so much to say and so much brain power potential that I struggle to access.

5. Sometimes I give too much: I have a history of giving too much in some of my relationships – personal and professional – and then at some point feeling resentful because I don’t have enough left for myself.  I’ve spent years working on this and generally I think I’m much better at knowing when I’m falling into old habits, but it is my natural state, one that sometimes makes me unhappy, so as I’ve grown older I’ve worked harder at being aware of this habit and stopping myself before I’ve given it all away.

6. I’m crazily intuitive, overly emotional and a highly sensitive person trapped in one cussing, giggly, rabble rousing, dichotomous body:  I cry at all weddings.  Even if I don’t know the people or think they might not be the best match.  If I hear music that has a tear jerking tone, I’ll start crying before I know what I’m crying about.  I pick up on things that I don’t know about from others.  Slight cues and signals bombard me all the time.  So much so, that I have friends who actually avoid me when they have a problem that they aren’t ready to discuss, because they know I will know and I will ask them about it.  I pick up on other people’s emotions whether I want to or not.  I think this is another reason why at parties I tend to stay busy, helping with the flow of the party rather than doing a lot of mingling – sometimes there are too many emotions in the room for me to handle at one time.

I also can be so emotional and passionate about things that I cannot hold my tongue. When I was younger I felt like I was a victim to my own feelings and emotional outbursts.  I couldn’t control my anger, or sadness and sometimes I’d become so overwhelmed with anxiety or depression that I would really struggle.  As I’ve gotten older I have learned so much about how to control myself.   How to manage my intensely passionate feelings.

Sometimes I feel that others think I’m rough around the edges or other times my feeling is that people think I’m all surface because I love to laugh and have fun, but that’s just because I have to balance the good feelings with the harder stuff.  Happiness is a choice I make daily and having fun and laughing are some of the tools I use to get there. As for the rough around the edges part, I think I am a little rough around the edges (fuck yeah).  I just happen to also be very caring and emotionally available too.  It’s a contradiction, I suppose, but that’s me.

OK, so I’m “out” now . . . it’s all out there for you to see.

What about you?  Would you be up to the challenge of writing a post like this?  It actually feels pretty awesome because when you look at yourself and your struggles on paper you see how normal you are, with problems same as everyone else.

One last quick note: usually I have have my work edited, but for today it seemed more real to let it all hang out so this is me, lightly self-edited.  If you don’t like it? Eat my typos!

Authentically yours,

Jen

When you’re a small business person who works and lives in the same space it’s really hard to have downtime in your house, because your work (for both home and business) is always around you.  I’m really thinking about my vacations differently these days – I’m seeing them as a necessary part of my downtime.  One of the few ways that I can really refuel my engine and that’s what I plan to share with you here.  The awesome points of this vacation and how you too can get away with your friends.  I’m breaking down the costs and adding links here so that you too can have the snow-bird vacation that I just had if you’d like to.

Our friend Beth is really the mastermind behind this vacation weekend.  She found this amazing house, and discovered it was cheaper to fly into Ontario, CA, which is about 1.5 hours away from Palm Springs.  Our vacay house was a little outside of Palm Springs – this also helped to keep costs down.

Beth with a cocktail – poolside

So the house was $650 for 4 day, 3 nights.  The room slept 7 so we each split this.  In our group some people stayed longer periods of time than others did, so the costs where slightly different for various people in our group.  For the sake of ease, I’m going to just say that we split the cost 7 ways = $92.86 each for room. The flight was $240 each round trip and we also had a rental car for 4 days, which cost $280.  There was another car that our friend Kim brought with another friend Ali and one friend came to the vacation separately, so 4 of us split the cost of the rental car = $70 each.   We cooked in almost every meal so we saved a lot of money that could have spent on going out to eat.  I’m not going to include the costs of eating only because I think this will vary so much from person to person and group to group.  So the total cost per person for the vacation without food was: $402.86!  This is a pretty affordable vacation.

Hanging out in our outdoor living room with cocktails and giggles.

Here’s the thing, I’m new to taking vacations with friends. For years I felt I couldn’t afford it.  I didn’t have the extra funds, or so I thought.  Now that I’m getting into vacationing with friends, I’m seeing that I make choices all the time with my money – a couple of fancy coffee drinks here, a few pricy dinners there, a new pair of shoes or three and before you know it, bam, you’ve spent as much as you would on a vacation.

This is my new focus: spending my money the way I want to live my life.  A vacation is way more important to me than going out to dinner and new shoes, so I am working on spending my money accordingly.

Hilary rocking a cocktail and a big hat.

So this is pretty much what we did – we drank cocktails, giggled, swam, wore big hats and were able to just BE for 4 days.  It was so lovely.

Kim looking lovely

This woman, Kim, is really the reason for the get away.  She’s one of our best friends and she’s moved away to L.A. so we must keep the fun going in a vacation capacity.  I call her Rock & Roll Kim and she’s so special.  There will be many more vacations with her in the future because missing her is terrible and vacationing with her and other friends is so fulfilling.

Stephanie ready for her close-up.

Here’s another one of the ladies I went away with.  She’s great too.  Actually, all the ladies were amazing!  It’s nice because as you get older I think you really find more and more of a need for lady-friends.  I feel very fortunate to have many dear women in my life.

This was one of those moments where we decided to have a dance party in our chairs.  Good times. Photographic evidence that one of the ladies MAY have touched another’s boob, but what happens in Palm Springs stays in Palm Springs.

The one meal we decided to go out for was to The Parker.  Here we are all dressed up in our Sunday brunch finest ready to eat, drink and be merry.

Yes, it looked this cool and the food was amazing.  It’s pretty much Mecca for fag hag ladybrunchers like ourselves.

We wandered around the grounds after brunch and snapped a couple of shots.

Here’s one with me in the shot.  I cannot wait to go back there again.

I had to include this one because it really shows off how hot both Stephanie and the Mid-Century Modern decor are.  So cool!

Here we are getting silly in the hot tub, which – yes, as a matter of fact – is located in the living room!  Beth was calling this move the cocktail roller coaster.  The sound effect that goes with this is, “Wheeeee!”

Here’s a few shots of our vacation house.

I’m already thinking about my next vacation.  How about you? Any ideas on where you’ll be taking a vacation to?  Maybe Palm Springs?  Which friends will you invite?

This video is just a small sampling of the sort of exercises that we’ll be offering in the course. Really this is just a teaser – in the actual course we’ll have:

• fun journaling and creative exercises to get you digging deeper into your own situation

• worksheets to help you shift your thinking and get some objective perspective

• an audio guided meditation by Jena, to help you relax and re-focus

• an awesome Maven-tastic downloadable goal sheet and weekly schedule

• Q&A days each week, happening via the comments, so you can participate anytime

• a private Facebook group so you can chat openly and connect with us, and your fellow classmates

• loads of additional resources to check out, so you can delve even further into the topics we’ll be discussing

• and a heaping helping of encouragement, know-how and support, from us, and all the Mavens participating in class!

•  and so much more!

Be sure to register by this Friday, March 2nd, 2012 if you’d like to re-ignite your spark with us! Read more and register here.

Here’s a quick review:

We all have a flame burning within us, ignited by passion, talent, skill or an intense curiosity in something. It’s that little place deep inside of you that lights up when you find yourself close to the things that enthrall, excite and fulfill you the most. The things that feel like the reason why you’re here, like what you’re meant to be doing with your life. We want to help you access this place inside of yourself.

Here’s a little taste of one of the concepts that we will be discussing in the course:

PSST!  Are you ready to tap into your greatest opportunity to unleash your inner awesome?  We’ve begun registration for The Catalyst Course!  We have so much to share with you: tools, exercise and tips to get you where you want to go.   Not ready to sign up for the course?  Sign up for our mailing list and keep up with what we’re up to!

Wikipedia defines it in this way:
“Competition is a contest between individuals, groups, animals, etc. for territory, a niche, or a location of resources. It arises whenever at least two parties strive for a goal which cannot be shared. Competition occurs naturally between living organisms which co-exist in the same environment.”

“Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.”~ David Sarnoff

This quote spoke to me because I think it encapsulates both the good and bad that can come out of competition.  I’ll be honest here and admit that I really detest competition: in friendships, in the workplace and in families.  For me, even a little competition such as playing games, really doesn’t feel good to me.  I even find the idea that someone might think they are better than one or worse than another troubling, but I digress.

“I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn’t know how to get along without it.” ~ Walt Disney

Many people love competition: in sports, work and for some people, even in a healthy friendship, if it’s kept light and not malicious.  Some people find competitiveness useful as a tool to challenge them, pushing them to new places. It’s been a long journey for me to even be able to see competition as a useful tool, but I’ve been working on my own response to competitiveness and trying to rethink the entire paradigm of competition as a whole.

“With competition everyone has to try harder.” ~ Harold H. Greene

In it’s place, competition can allow you to really hone in on your skills.  In business this is especially true.  Let’s say you have a business making doggy rain boots called Pup Puddle Protectors. One day you’re on Etsy and discover that someone else is making doggy rain boots with a nearly identical name.  You might want to write them a nasty email, or consult a lawyer.  If you haven’t patented your product, and even if you have, it will be tricky and expensive to follow through with legal proceedings.  The most you can probably do, without lots of time and money, is send a cease and desist letter from your lawyer.  Really, the best way to handle such a situation is to challenge yourself to find a narrower niche for your product.  Maybe your doggy rain boots have a special clasp that keeps them on a dog’s feet better.  Or maybe you choose really hip fabrics or materials and you sell your product as designer fashion for dogs.  Competition in business can really help you narrow your focus so that you stand out in a crowd.  Also remember that when you have a good idea, other people will want in on it, so a certain amount of competition will happen.  Expecting it is to be realistic about the situation.

“Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off. ” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

While some competition can be invigorating, sometimes it can cross the line and feel really terrible—it can feel malicious or threatening.  Why is this person doing the same thing I do?  Taking my business idea?  Using the same information that I told them about to further themselves?  Here’s the truth; this type of thinking will propel you down a rabbit hole of frustration, anger and hurt.  It can tear apart friendships and create tidal waves in your professional life.  Feelings of competition can take hold of you and leave you feeling pretty broken-hearted.  Once you’re there you can fall into a place where you’re so worried about what your competition is up to that you cannot focus on what you’re doing.  This is time consuming, feels bad and worst of all can distract you from your true path and where you’re going.  Long story short, it’s not worth the trouble.

So, what can you do when you feel like someone is competing with you, or like you might want to compete with someone else?

“There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.” ~ Indira Gandhi

First, you can breathe and reflect.  Try not to react, this will only engage the competition further.  For many of us competition can bring on a fight or flight response.  If at all possible, don’t go there because it will only further enmesh you in the competition.  Give yourself some space and time to process the situation.  It doesn’t mean denying that the competition is true.  It’s more about trying to make choices that help you overcome your feelings verses reacting and engaging in the competition.  How do I know this?  Through mistakes.  We all make ‘em, but if we can learn from them they can be valuable lessons.

Here’s some tips for dealing with competition:

1. Ask yourself what is it that is really bothering you about the dynamic?  Most of the time there’s an underlying reason.  If it’s in business you might fear that your product won’t stand out as much and that you’ll have to work harder at finding customers, which could affect your bottom line.  Maybe it’s an acknowledgement issue.  You’re not feeling that the other person is acknowledging your part in their projects or in their success.  Once you know the root of your feelings you can begin to address them.

2. Once you’ve determined the underlying reasons for your feelings, try not to make presumptions about what the person’s intentions are.  They may not be trying to hurt you or take from you.  They might be clueless about their actions.  Maybe they admire you and are following your lead.  Maybe they don’t even realize how closely they are following in your footsteps.  Also remember, that even if you invented the first dog rain boot, it doesn’t mean that you can be the only person who can ever make it.  We have to share.  If that’s a given, that we must share to some extent, how can you make this work for you?  Can you collaborate with your competitor in some way?  Sounds crazy right?  But if you’re working on a shared goal, you cannot compete in the same way.  What can you learn from competition?  There’s always a lesson hidden in there somewhere.

3. In business, finding ways to make your product or service stand out is important to eliminating competition.  If it’s a friend that you’re experiencing competitiveness with, you need to assess if this is a person you want to be close to.  If you want to keep the friendship, but avoid competition, something to realize is that every time you discuss your success with your friend, they will probably try to one up you.  Avoiding talk about aspects of yourself and your accomplishments can help to ease the competitiveness in the friendship, however, this can be a challenge too.  Most of us seek friendships where we can just be ourselves.  If you’re having to hold back part of yourself to accommodate competition, it can take a toll on a friendship. But I would argue that it is possible to salvage a friendship after competition.

For me, the thing I learned from past competitive dynamics is that I always want to make people who have helped me feel truly appreciated and acknowledged.  I go pretty far out of my way when someone tells me I’ve done a good job at something. I try to think, who else helped me succeed and then I tell the person, “Thank you.  I couldn’t have done it without so and so.  We’re a good team.” Or whatever the situation may be.  The interesting thing I’ve found is that including others in your success actually feels better.  You feel like a team and the people you include in your moments of praise are likely to want to praise you in the future.

Take a look at competition in your life and try reframing it. Include others in your success and see where it takes you.

PSST!  Are you ready to tap into your greatest opportunity to unleash your inner awesome?  We’ve begun registration for The Catalyst Course!  We have so much to share with you: tools, exercise and tips to get you where you want to go.   Not ready to sign up for the course?  Sign up for our mailing list and keep up with what we’re up to!

We all have it from time to time, the need to resist what “is.”  Some of us have more resistance than others. We can often have resistance in some areas and not others.  Resistance is very often coming from ourselves and our emotions.  It looks more or less like living in a state of denial on a particular topic.  Maybe it’s a lover who won’t give up on her love even though he doesn’t treat her right, or a person who refuses to acknowledge the negative impact that their job is having on their personal life.  Most of the time resistance is an unconscious defense mechanism rather than an intentional plan.

Resistance can come to us for many different reasons; fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, fear of losing something important to you, as well as countless other reasons. But it is fear and an inability to deal with the truth that is at the heart of the issue.  It’s the idea that whatever we’re resisting is so big that we don’t feel we can handle the changes necessary to deal with the problem, because our ego won’t allow it.

What we resist must persist.

I know that I’ve had my fair share of times when I was unwilling to accept the truth about something. And let me tell you, the more I fought it the more miserable I was.  Resistance and misery tend to go hand-in-hand.  Sometimes it’s a dull unhappiness. Other times it’s an out-and-out pain fest.  We cannot accept what is, so we fight it.  This usually leads to anger, frustration, hurt and an extended period of time being stuck in a place that feels really bad.  It’s ironic really, we resist to avoid feeling the pain or other negative feelings that we don’t want to feel, yet it’s the very act of resisting that exposes us over and over again to feelings that are negative.  The truth is, we aren’t able to save ourselves from pain.  Just as happiness is part of the journey of life, so is pain.  What we can do is move through hard times with our eyes open. We can stop resisting and surrender to what is.  It’s only then that we begin to move forward through the fear and pain.  Yes, this can be scary and painful, but movement is the beginning of growth.  We must walk through the hard stuff to get to the other side.

I’m thinking of the analogy of someone standing on broken glass.  If you resist the fact that you’re in pain or standing in a dangerous place you might be able to talk yourself out of the pain, to some extent. However, you’ll continue to live with mild to moderate discomfort until you take the chance and walk through the glass.  There is no question, walking through broken glass is painful and scary.  You’ll probably experience more pain while walking through the shards, but on the other side you’ll be out of it and ready to heal.  The pain and fear will either go away or leave a scar as a reminder of the fear and pain you felt, and then you can put on comfortable shoes to protect your feet in the future.  No relief can happen until you take the leap and face the truth of the situation.

Getting through something that you’re resisting is always challenging, but how you think about it can impact how hard it is for you.  Here are some tips for overcoming resistance:

1. Observation – I really like Buddhist thinking around coping with negative emotions.  The idea is that you observe your emotions rather than become your emotions.  This is much easier said than done, but if you practice this technique you become better at it.

2. Awareness – As you become more aware of times when your ego is resisting something, you can start to see a time of resistance as an opportunity for change.  When we can see what is in front of us, we can make choices rather than blindly making knee-jerk reactions.

3. Expectations – Expect that you will have resistance in your life.  We all have resistance to something and a certain amount of resistance is good, in fact necessary.  The need to resist hurting others – this is good resistance, but know that sometimes you will discover that your avoidance of something is hurting you or interfering with your growth.  Know that you are like all of us; human, imperfect, learning, growing and becoming more awesome by the day.

All too often our thoughts and reactions are our biggest obstacles to the awesome that is awaiting us on the other side. I know dealing with resistance is really hard work, let’s not pretend anything different.  The alternative, however, is to remain stuck in a place that isn’t working.  What will you choose?  Will you deny the discomfort you feel from standing on broken glass or will you walk out of it and into a life that feels better to you?

As we get better at the practice of shifting our resistance, we open ourselves up to real change and the amazing opportunities that await us!  Wishing everyone a little movement with your own levels of resistance!  Good luck!

PSST!  Are you ready to tap into your greatest opportunity to unleash your inner awesome?  We’ve begun registration for The Catalyst Course!  We have so much to share with you: tools, exercise and tips to get you where you want to go.   Not ready to sign up for the course?  Sign up for our mailing list and keep up with what we’re up to!

There are a variety of reasons that people struggle with getting at their best and more awesome selves.  I know I’ve struggled at times over the years.  It takes time to get to know yourself and then as soon as you think you have yourself figured out, then you change.  You realize the things you’ve been striving for aren’t totally what you are looking for anymore. Or maybe you love your life, but you realize that  you never put yourself on your to do list in the first place and aren’t totally sure how to begin.

Change is good if you are paying attention to your needs and desires.  If you’re willing to keep your mind nimble to possibilities, change can be an improvement on what you’ve already done, because you can custom design the life you’re wanting.  In the real world though, most of us feel all too often that we are unprepared for the changes that are happening around us, or aren’t sure where to begin with changes we want to make.

This is the reason that my colleague, Jena Coray and I have developed this e-course called, The Catalyst Course.  We believe that with the right support everyone is capable of pursuing their dreams.  We want to support you with exercises, strategies and tools that we’ve use to stay inspired and motivated in the pursuit of our own dreams. This course will cover realistic and practical ideas for getting closer to your dreams, taking better care of yourself and reigniting your spark!

I was so honored to have been selected to speak at a conference last summer filled with strangers, friends and colleagues, but almost instantly I realized, I was really afraid to speak in front of such a large group.  There were about 250 people in attendance.  I spent nearly a month mentally preparing by going through a series of steps to shift my mind and behavior  for the speech.  The day of the event I was able to deliver my speech with the confidence I had hoped for.  My confidence was authentic and real. In that moment I realized I’d not only delivered a good speech, but I’d overcome a fear. The fear of public speaking doesn’t hold the same fearful place for me anymore.

We all have fears about one thing or another, public speaking is a very common one.  Other common fears that people have are; fear of failure, fear of not being accepted or more generally the fear of judgement by others. In some cases the fear is small and not as difficult to overcome, other times the fear is so great it becomes a phobia, or something that completely immobilizes us from getting where we want to go.

There are fears so great that it can be beneficial to seek therapeutic help.  If the fear isn’t quite to that level there are some things you can do to help you overcome your fear.

1. The first question to ask when you start to feel fearful is, “Is this true?” Is my fear accurate? Am I worrying needlessly? Have you heard the acronym for fear? F-false, E-evidence, A-appearing, R-real. If it’s not true, shift your mind to the truth of the matter. Journaling can be a great way to accomplish this. If it is true, go to the next question.

2.  Where is the fear coming from? Most of the time we have an old feeling behind the current fear.  Think about other fears or times when you were afraid. Are they connected?  If so, spending some time writing or talking with friends about how your fears are connected can be helpful in understanding the source of your fear and why it’s affecting you like it is.  With some fears it’s obvious where it is coming from others are not so obvious.

3. Ask yourself, if I weren’t afraid, how would I behave?  This is such an important question because for many people behaving the way you want to be can actually change how you feel.  In a way your feelings catch up to your actions.

4. If you’re not quite ready to act, try writing about what you’d like to be able to do.  Break it down into the smallest steps possible. When you’re ready do one of those steps and build your way through each step.

5. Remember that mistakes are part of learning.  Be patient with yourself and trust yourself to grow.  Remind yourself regularly and often of the courage it takes do something new.  The more you accept yourself where you are at the more you’ll find it easier to focus on overcoming your fear.

6. Surround yourself with people who believe in you.  Great people will see the great in you.  Talk to your friends about your feelings and it’s likely they will share their feelings with you. Talking about your fear is good for your emotional health and deepens friendships.

PS. Don’t forget to breathe before, during and after thinking about or acting on a fear.

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing” ~Eleanor Rosevelt

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